Thursday, 2 February 2012
Friday, 29 January 2010
Back from the brink...
Sometimes we walk so close to the edge don't we? From the day children are born we can see them pushing the boudaries, testing what can and can't be done. A two year old jumping off the back of the settee is finding out how far they can fall without hurting themselves, a five year old looking around cautiously as they snatch a toy from their friend's hand finding out what the consequences of malice will be, a 16 year old finding out how drunk they can get before they damage themselves, a 20 year old finding out how many illegal activities they can get involved in before anyone cares, an 80 year old telling stories from their past finding out how many times they can offer wise advice before they're shipped off to a nursing home.
Do we have to go to the edge before we learn that it can't be done? By modern standards you'd think there was no other way than falling straight off the cliff and hoping to survive the fall, perhaps a random do gooder or a government agency somewhere on the way to break your fall.
Psychology likes to call this 'availability heuristic' - we make judgements according to what we know, and obviously don't consider the information we don't know.
Someone recently told me that they thought that the 'availability heuristic' of Biblical writers was so limited that, had they written the Bible in the 21st century they would have experienced the benefits of plurality , polytheism and would have seen science disprove God and would subsequentley not have written the parts of the Bible that point to one true God (that would be the WHOLE Bible).
I have two points here.
1) considering their availability heuristic was so limited; no telescopes, no ultrasound scans, no well developed theories of psychology - they got A LOT right.
Isaiah 40:22 says God sits upon the circle of the earth. This was when people thought the world was flat.
Job 26:7 God hangs the earth on nothing. This was before they'd gone beyond the atmosphere and discovered the lower levels of gravity in space.
Ecclesiastes 1:7 All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. This was before they'd worked out the water cycle.
Ecclesiastes 1:6 The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. Wind circuits, this was before the Met Office!
I could go on and on... read the Bible for yourself to find out more.
2) Who's to say our availability heurisitc is complete? Maybe we've digressed in our understanding or taken the wrong direction with our investigations. Maybe one day the one true God of the Bible will come down from Heaven to judge people according to His righteous law and our availability heuristic will explode with information! We will suddenly realise that we were not taking into account our confirmation bias (human beings' natural tendency to think that their own opinions are right and only notice information that confirms their opinion.).
There is an incredible thing that can save us from that terrifying fall over the brink: it's called trust and it goes beyond our own knowledge.
For the 2 year old about to jump off the settee, they should be able to trust the adult that tells them 'don't do that, you could hurt yourself'
For the 5 year old snatching their friend's toy, they should be able to trust that they will receive reasonable consequences for their bad behaviour.
For the 16 year old going drinking they should be able to trust people older and wiser when they say the risks aren't worth the brief moments of numbness from life's pain.
For the 20 year old who's involved in criminal activity, they should be able to trust that someone cares about the honesty and integrity of their character.
For the 80 year old they should be able to trust that their life's experiences will be valued by future generations.
Would this kind of trust not hold everyone more accountable for their actions? Would this kind of trust not keep so many people from toppling over the brink of self destruction? Wouldn't this remove the pressure from the fragile, hurting person who's wondering if anyone would miss them if they weren't around any more?
For someone hurting, feeling rejected, simply being able to trust that someone would ache if they died - could it keep them from going over the edge from where they can't return.
And who can they trust?
The first and MOST important trust is in God Himself. Trusting that His word is true, trusting that He gave Himself entirely out of love for you, trusting that He will give your reasonable consequences for your behaviour according to His holy standards.
But it doesn't stop there. Where are God's ambassadors? The people who God speaks through, the signposts to Christ. Can you be trusted?
If your children, your friends, your family can trust you; you could be the one to reassure them and bring them back from the edge of unbelief - when they're about to stop believing that there's justice in the world, that they're worth anything, that good decisions are worth making.
Does your yes mean yes, and your no mean no?
Do you speak the truth?
Do you go out of your way to prove that you're trust worthy?
In the little things and the big things. Day by day, the hard work of building up trust by stopping yourself from making momentary promises, carrying out a difficult commitment, writing the letter you said you'd write, visiting the person you said you'd visit, giving your child time out for as long as you said you would, giving your child the attention you promised you'd give them when you'd finished being busy; it might pay off one day.
One day when you have to tell some one that life's worth living, would they be able to trust you?
Do we have to go to the edge before we learn that it can't be done? By modern standards you'd think there was no other way than falling straight off the cliff and hoping to survive the fall, perhaps a random do gooder or a government agency somewhere on the way to break your fall.
Psychology likes to call this 'availability heuristic' - we make judgements according to what we know, and obviously don't consider the information we don't know.
Someone recently told me that they thought that the 'availability heuristic' of Biblical writers was so limited that, had they written the Bible in the 21st century they would have experienced the benefits of plurality , polytheism and would have seen science disprove God and would subsequentley not have written the parts of the Bible that point to one true God (that would be the WHOLE Bible).
I have two points here.
1) considering their availability heuristic was so limited; no telescopes, no ultrasound scans, no well developed theories of psychology - they got A LOT right.
Isaiah 40:22 says God sits upon the circle of the earth. This was when people thought the world was flat.
Job 26:7 God hangs the earth on nothing. This was before they'd gone beyond the atmosphere and discovered the lower levels of gravity in space.
Ecclesiastes 1:7 All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. This was before they'd worked out the water cycle.
Ecclesiastes 1:6 The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. Wind circuits, this was before the Met Office!
I could go on and on... read the Bible for yourself to find out more.
2) Who's to say our availability heurisitc is complete? Maybe we've digressed in our understanding or taken the wrong direction with our investigations. Maybe one day the one true God of the Bible will come down from Heaven to judge people according to His righteous law and our availability heuristic will explode with information! We will suddenly realise that we were not taking into account our confirmation bias (human beings' natural tendency to think that their own opinions are right and only notice information that confirms their opinion.).
There is an incredible thing that can save us from that terrifying fall over the brink: it's called trust and it goes beyond our own knowledge.
For the 2 year old about to jump off the settee, they should be able to trust the adult that tells them 'don't do that, you could hurt yourself'
For the 5 year old snatching their friend's toy, they should be able to trust that they will receive reasonable consequences for their bad behaviour.
For the 16 year old going drinking they should be able to trust people older and wiser when they say the risks aren't worth the brief moments of numbness from life's pain.
For the 20 year old who's involved in criminal activity, they should be able to trust that someone cares about the honesty and integrity of their character.
For the 80 year old they should be able to trust that their life's experiences will be valued by future generations.
Would this kind of trust not hold everyone more accountable for their actions? Would this kind of trust not keep so many people from toppling over the brink of self destruction? Wouldn't this remove the pressure from the fragile, hurting person who's wondering if anyone would miss them if they weren't around any more?
For someone hurting, feeling rejected, simply being able to trust that someone would ache if they died - could it keep them from going over the edge from where they can't return.
And who can they trust?
The first and MOST important trust is in God Himself. Trusting that His word is true, trusting that He gave Himself entirely out of love for you, trusting that He will give your reasonable consequences for your behaviour according to His holy standards.
But it doesn't stop there. Where are God's ambassadors? The people who God speaks through, the signposts to Christ. Can you be trusted?
If your children, your friends, your family can trust you; you could be the one to reassure them and bring them back from the edge of unbelief - when they're about to stop believing that there's justice in the world, that they're worth anything, that good decisions are worth making.
Does your yes mean yes, and your no mean no?
Do you speak the truth?
Do you go out of your way to prove that you're trust worthy?
In the little things and the big things. Day by day, the hard work of building up trust by stopping yourself from making momentary promises, carrying out a difficult commitment, writing the letter you said you'd write, visiting the person you said you'd visit, giving your child time out for as long as you said you would, giving your child the attention you promised you'd give them when you'd finished being busy; it might pay off one day.
One day when you have to tell some one that life's worth living, would they be able to trust you?
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
The Jeepney and the Cockroach
Philippines 10.7.09
A light skinned girl stood under a blue umbrella, her soaked shoes looked like they'd once been pretty and flowery - now they were brown and slimy. The rain poured, it had lightened from the torrential downpour 5 minutes ago and the humidity was creeping up.
The girl and a Filippino companion hovered around the faded pink line on the ground, stepping backwards and forwards as they looked for a jeepney in the passing traffic or avoided being splashed by the cars as they drove through the flood swelling from the drains.
Was it just her natural expression, or did she look anxious? She'd been in Jeepneys before, the bumpy, noisy, cramped, erratic journey would not be new for her - but perhaps the heavy holdall she was carrying was giving her cause for concern. In the Philippines you don't ask questions like, 'how will I get this onto a jeepney at the same time as closing my umbrella, climbing up the step, and squatting as I walk along the narrow aisle bumping into people's knees?'
Maybe it was the calling in tagalog and waving coming from the drivers of passing Jeepneys that they didn't want to take - as if shouting louder is going to make the passengers want to change the direction of their journey. The curious stares of by passers couldn't be ignored, a forgeiner waiting for a jeepney!? The looks of people nearby, not at the girl, but at her holdall - what treasures would a Westerner carry in an overnight bag, possibly worth more than their weeks wages. Perhaps, all in all, there was just cause for her to be anxious, in which case there was a strange sense of confidence as she headed toward a moving jeepney, the co-driver gesturing madly as the Filippino companion indicated that two wanted to travel.
The dripping umbrella and the holdall bashed, brushed and wetted the legs and feet of the people who were already on the jeepney, until she came to a space just behind the driver. There they were, on their way to Masinag on a jeepney bound for Gogeo.
The vehicle's music pulsed through everything, the diesel engine chugged along with jolting stop, starts. The driver seemingly unaware that two vehicles couldn't occupy the same physical space, he wove in and out of lanes, halting at the very last second, millimetres from the door of a lorry or bonnet of a car or legs of a person. The co-driver apparently unaware that two people couldn't occupy the same physical space as he held out his sign indicating 'Cogeo', emphatically yelling in tagalog and indicating with a grubby finger that there was room for one more.
The rain continued to belt down, the overcrowded vehicle with covered windows was like a melting pot. The flooded roads and swelling drains, puffing diesel engines, the driver's cigarette filled with who-knows-what, the hot and sticky bodies all conspired to make an offensive smell - making the girl remember the polluted smell of her English home city with longing, as if it were pure fresh air compared to the thick grimy air of Manila.
The driver turned the wheel manically, as he did so the jeepney moved fractionally, the play in the steering made the girl look around to observe other faults in the vehicle - perhaps this was unwise. The roughly welded corners, badly fitted mirror, a tattered seat belt hung across the driver's open doorway - a safety precaution? Unlikely.
The cold bucket of water she'd tipped over herself as a shower this morning seemed a distant memory. From inside the jeepney the world felt oddly abstract. Where did the driver sleep last night? Cardboard on the street, or something more substantial, a shack made with tarpaulin? Was the co-driver thinking of how he would feed his children tonight as he called for one more person to hang in the back doorway of the jeepney?
The school boys sleeping through the vibrating din and sudden stops; compared to the English school children on the spacious, quiet, fuel efficient English buses - she never thought she'd consider a bus spacious or quiet, but somehow every thing changed from inside the jeepney. Health and wealth seemed less tangible. Life existed by the second, getting past the next car, picking up the next passenger; along with everyone else she was surviving the journey, there was little about it to enjoy.
Until Masinag market appeared on the smoggy horizon and everything came back into place, she was a foreigner, a visitor; the poverty was just an observation - she had wealth at her fingertips, she lived for tomorrow. Bashing, brushing and jumping she left the jeepney; but she was at a completely different place than where she'd got on.
Philippines 8.7.09
I had a faceoff with a cockroach today. I was sitting doing my very boring work of entering emails into the database when I couldn't help but notice a big bug thing with a shiny back and long wiry antenna lurking behind the desk not far from me. My heart beat changed its pattern, but being the brave, missionary hearted person I like to imagine that I am I looked directly at the computer screen and carried on typing. Tap - tap - tap - I felt a breeze on my leg and nervously twitched, 'it's okay' I told myself, 'the cockroach is still over the... uh oh, it's moved! hang on... you're not supposed to be looking, just leave it alone and it'll scuttle past' tap - tap -tap -tap; suddenly, as an instant defence mechanism before I can blink I've drawn my feet closer and my elbows tense against my side, the cockroach advanced, in my direction, and it's still moving.
As it intently scuttles towards me, centimetre by centimetre I'm arguing with myself, 'Some thing has to be done!... You can't jump up and scream like you would in England... no, but you're not going to just sit here and let it crawl up your leg are you... your desk is right at the front of the whole office, any move you make everyone will see... but this thing is massive, it'd take a warrior dance to scare it off!... perhaps I could just pretend to go to the toilet... what if it's still there when you get back? What are you going to do then? Pretend to go again!.... Aaaaarrgh, it's moving faster, do something!'
I take a quick look around the office wondering if anyone's noticed my heated internal debate or sudden nervous movements, my absent minded scrolling through the database and distinct lack of typing. Nope, everyone's hard at work, and what feels like the past 5 minutes has actually been about 3 seconds, cockroaches can move fast and this ones only out for a stroll.
As everyone's safely absorbed in work I shift my feet and the cockroach hesitates, he waves his menacing antenna, they're longer than he is! 'Please don't fly, please don't fly, please don't fly' I plead silently with the insect, trying to look unintimidated, with all the courage in my body I lower a note pad towards the ground, it takes all my remaining energy to look casual as I wave the notebook at the scuttling creature and he defiantly takes his time to turn around and crawl away.
My body releases a surge of relief as the cockroach maintains his departing direction all the way back behind the desk where it began. As my blood pressure returns to normal and I can count my heart beats again I say to myself 'how bad would it've been, even if it had crawled on you, it's not that nasty, I mean, it doesn't bite or anything, it's just scuttly, and crawly, and creepy, and...' I slightly shiver, and cast one last precautionary glace towards the desk before I continue tap- tap -tapping.
A light skinned girl stood under a blue umbrella, her soaked shoes looked like they'd once been pretty and flowery - now they were brown and slimy. The rain poured, it had lightened from the torrential downpour 5 minutes ago and the humidity was creeping up.
The girl and a Filippino companion hovered around the faded pink line on the ground, stepping backwards and forwards as they looked for a jeepney in the passing traffic or avoided being splashed by the cars as they drove through the flood swelling from the drains.
Was it just her natural expression, or did she look anxious? She'd been in Jeepneys before, the bumpy, noisy, cramped, erratic journey would not be new for her - but perhaps the heavy holdall she was carrying was giving her cause for concern. In the Philippines you don't ask questions like, 'how will I get this onto a jeepney at the same time as closing my umbrella, climbing up the step, and squatting as I walk along the narrow aisle bumping into people's knees?'
Maybe it was the calling in tagalog and waving coming from the drivers of passing Jeepneys that they didn't want to take - as if shouting louder is going to make the passengers want to change the direction of their journey. The curious stares of by passers couldn't be ignored, a forgeiner waiting for a jeepney!? The looks of people nearby, not at the girl, but at her holdall - what treasures would a Westerner carry in an overnight bag, possibly worth more than their weeks wages. Perhaps, all in all, there was just cause for her to be anxious, in which case there was a strange sense of confidence as she headed toward a moving jeepney, the co-driver gesturing madly as the Filippino companion indicated that two wanted to travel.
The dripping umbrella and the holdall bashed, brushed and wetted the legs and feet of the people who were already on the jeepney, until she came to a space just behind the driver. There they were, on their way to Masinag on a jeepney bound for Gogeo.
The vehicle's music pulsed through everything, the diesel engine chugged along with jolting stop, starts. The driver seemingly unaware that two vehicles couldn't occupy the same physical space, he wove in and out of lanes, halting at the very last second, millimetres from the door of a lorry or bonnet of a car or legs of a person. The co-driver apparently unaware that two people couldn't occupy the same physical space as he held out his sign indicating 'Cogeo', emphatically yelling in tagalog and indicating with a grubby finger that there was room for one more.
The rain continued to belt down, the overcrowded vehicle with covered windows was like a melting pot. The flooded roads and swelling drains, puffing diesel engines, the driver's cigarette filled with who-knows-what, the hot and sticky bodies all conspired to make an offensive smell - making the girl remember the polluted smell of her English home city with longing, as if it were pure fresh air compared to the thick grimy air of Manila.
The driver turned the wheel manically, as he did so the jeepney moved fractionally, the play in the steering made the girl look around to observe other faults in the vehicle - perhaps this was unwise. The roughly welded corners, badly fitted mirror, a tattered seat belt hung across the driver's open doorway - a safety precaution? Unlikely.
The cold bucket of water she'd tipped over herself as a shower this morning seemed a distant memory. From inside the jeepney the world felt oddly abstract. Where did the driver sleep last night? Cardboard on the street, or something more substantial, a shack made with tarpaulin? Was the co-driver thinking of how he would feed his children tonight as he called for one more person to hang in the back doorway of the jeepney?
The school boys sleeping through the vibrating din and sudden stops; compared to the English school children on the spacious, quiet, fuel efficient English buses - she never thought she'd consider a bus spacious or quiet, but somehow every thing changed from inside the jeepney. Health and wealth seemed less tangible. Life existed by the second, getting past the next car, picking up the next passenger; along with everyone else she was surviving the journey, there was little about it to enjoy.
Until Masinag market appeared on the smoggy horizon and everything came back into place, she was a foreigner, a visitor; the poverty was just an observation - she had wealth at her fingertips, she lived for tomorrow. Bashing, brushing and jumping she left the jeepney; but she was at a completely different place than where she'd got on.
Philippines 8.7.09
I had a faceoff with a cockroach today. I was sitting doing my very boring work of entering emails into the database when I couldn't help but notice a big bug thing with a shiny back and long wiry antenna lurking behind the desk not far from me. My heart beat changed its pattern, but being the brave, missionary hearted person I like to imagine that I am I looked directly at the computer screen and carried on typing. Tap - tap - tap - I felt a breeze on my leg and nervously twitched, 'it's okay' I told myself, 'the cockroach is still over the... uh oh, it's moved! hang on... you're not supposed to be looking, just leave it alone and it'll scuttle past' tap - tap -tap -tap; suddenly, as an instant defence mechanism before I can blink I've drawn my feet closer and my elbows tense against my side, the cockroach advanced, in my direction, and it's still moving.
As it intently scuttles towards me, centimetre by centimetre I'm arguing with myself, 'Some thing has to be done!... You can't jump up and scream like you would in England... no, but you're not going to just sit here and let it crawl up your leg are you... your desk is right at the front of the whole office, any move you make everyone will see... but this thing is massive, it'd take a warrior dance to scare it off!... perhaps I could just pretend to go to the toilet... what if it's still there when you get back? What are you going to do then? Pretend to go again!.... Aaaaarrgh, it's moving faster, do something!'
I take a quick look around the office wondering if anyone's noticed my heated internal debate or sudden nervous movements, my absent minded scrolling through the database and distinct lack of typing. Nope, everyone's hard at work, and what feels like the past 5 minutes has actually been about 3 seconds, cockroaches can move fast and this ones only out for a stroll.
As everyone's safely absorbed in work I shift my feet and the cockroach hesitates, he waves his menacing antenna, they're longer than he is! 'Please don't fly, please don't fly, please don't fly' I plead silently with the insect, trying to look unintimidated, with all the courage in my body I lower a note pad towards the ground, it takes all my remaining energy to look casual as I wave the notebook at the scuttling creature and he defiantly takes his time to turn around and crawl away.
My body releases a surge of relief as the cockroach maintains his departing direction all the way back behind the desk where it began. As my blood pressure returns to normal and I can count my heart beats again I say to myself 'how bad would it've been, even if it had crawled on you, it's not that nasty, I mean, it doesn't bite or anything, it's just scuttly, and crawly, and creepy, and...' I slightly shiver, and cast one last precautionary glace towards the desk before I continue tap- tap -tapping.
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
It's a shame that having so much to blog about leaves so little time to blog.
For starters can you imagine how unromantic it is reading a psychology lab report on love - also labelled 'partnership love', 'romantic love', 'intimate attraction' amongst other boring words. All I have discovered so far is that psychologists are as clueless as the rest of us! Their term for being clueless is: 'love is subjective' - that means you can interpret it any way you want, just don't blame us if it goes wrong. In their opinion love cannot be defined (of course we're working outside the realms of 1 Corinthians 13), cannot be exhaustively explained and -although they wouldn't admit it - they give every impression it can never be truly understood. I can completely understand why they feel true love can never be understood, it's probably because it can't be. A good way to begin though isn't handing out questionnaires, asking open ended questions or sequencing cards with love related events on them - but feel the depth of sacrifice, especially to the extent of dying for someone; take a good look at the cross of Calvary. All this reading about love was necessary for a report on 'the influence of culture on romantic relationship formation' - the topic for this report was decided at university while I was away - a lesson never to skive was well and truly learnt.
I did, however, feel that skipping two days of uni was worth it to go and meet up with some friends, 3 of whom had flown over from France. We went a saw most of the big, free things to see in London - Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, the British Museum, Tower bridge, changing of the guard, St James' Park, Buckingham Palace, London Eye, River Thames, Tower of London. It's amazing how little I know about my own country, which I didn't realise until I was showing visitors around. We managed to find our way to the beach, and had a barbeque. We went to Cambridge and went punting on the river something which I found I'm not incredibly skilled at, perhaps not least because I was so afraid that I could barely stand up at the end of the punt. Then the concept of leaning any part of me out over the river in order to let the pole sink to the bottom of the river and create any kind of driving force for the boat to move was slightly dizzying... it's not a wonder we hardly moved from the side of the river the whole time I was punting!
In three days I went from Birmingham - London- Bournemouth - London - Cambridge - Birmingham. The weekend before I'd been from Birmingham - Brighton - Guildford - Birmingham. I've had my 'new' car for 6 months and have added 5,000 miles to the clock!
This month I opened up a toddler group. I applied for and received a grant earlier this month, allowing me to buy equipment and pay for training of volunteers for a toddler group. We run for two hours one morning a week, and so far have had two families come - our maximum has been 3 children and 4 adults. Being the great dreamer that I am, I see this as the start of something so much bigger and feel ever so blessed by the opportunity to start it.
In all the activities I've been supervising recently I've been struck by the reality of responsibility - not only for things, but for other people. For their time and their efforts. I have so much 'at my disposal', so many people willing to do a job for me, to prepare a Bible lesson for club, set up toys for toddler group, and every time I take them up on a offer or ask them to do something extra I have added responsibility of using their time, making sure I'm not wasting their time or stealing it from them. Especially if something could be done more efficiently, or if I could have done a job myself if I'd been more disciplined. To him who much is given, much will be required.
Every day I feel more aware of my inability to do everything and the wonderful grace of God in allowing it all to get done.
I did, however, feel that skipping two days of uni was worth it to go and meet up with some friends, 3 of whom had flown over from France. We went a saw most of the big, free things to see in London - Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, the British Museum, Tower bridge, changing of the guard, St James' Park, Buckingham Palace, London Eye, River Thames, Tower of London. It's amazing how little I know about my own country, which I didn't realise until I was showing visitors around. We managed to find our way to the beach, and had a barbeque. We went to Cambridge and went punting on the river something which I found I'm not incredibly skilled at, perhaps not least because I was so afraid that I could barely stand up at the end of the punt. Then the concept of leaning any part of me out over the river in order to let the pole sink to the bottom of the river and create any kind of driving force for the boat to move was slightly dizzying... it's not a wonder we hardly moved from the side of the river the whole time I was punting!
In three days I went from Birmingham - London- Bournemouth - London - Cambridge - Birmingham. The weekend before I'd been from Birmingham - Brighton - Guildford - Birmingham. I've had my 'new' car for 6 months and have added 5,000 miles to the clock!
This month I opened up a toddler group. I applied for and received a grant earlier this month, allowing me to buy equipment and pay for training of volunteers for a toddler group. We run for two hours one morning a week, and so far have had two families come - our maximum has been 3 children and 4 adults. Being the great dreamer that I am, I see this as the start of something so much bigger and feel ever so blessed by the opportunity to start it.
In all the activities I've been supervising recently I've been struck by the reality of responsibility - not only for things, but for other people. For their time and their efforts. I have so much 'at my disposal', so many people willing to do a job for me, to prepare a Bible lesson for club, set up toys for toddler group, and every time I take them up on a offer or ask them to do something extra I have added responsibility of using their time, making sure I'm not wasting their time or stealing it from them. Especially if something could be done more efficiently, or if I could have done a job myself if I'd been more disciplined. To him who much is given, much will be required.
Every day I feel more aware of my inability to do everything and the wonderful grace of God in allowing it all to get done.
Thursday, 19 February 2009
When is it too late to say - Hang on a minute!?
Not long ago I watched a film called 'Boy in striped pyjamas', it was a very moving film which told a fictional story about the son of a German Comanding Officer in the second world war. The film brings out the confusion, tension and cruelty that must've engulfed families (Jews and German alike) during world war 2. It's main point is rememberance of the holocaust and the horror of it.
After watching the special features and interviews with cast memebers; I was struck by the question that seemed to be on everybody's lips, "Why did no one say, 'I won't stand for this' " or, at least a form of that question.
It's a good question, why did no one say no? Or, shouldn't the question be, why didn't enough people say no while they were still strong enough? Hitler began as a promising leader, everything from getting youths off the streets to writing cook books and encouraging women to get married, perhaps with a bit of a hang up on the jews. Slowly and surely he took power away from people he dislikled and gave it to anyone who was greedy enough to accept the terms. As the people with the power realised they couldn't keep the power without surpressing the people and obeying Hitler, they got mean, just like Hitler.
Eventually everyone that wanted to say no, didn't have enough man power to say it. It was too late, and too many people had become too self absorbed.
Basically, the next question would be... so what? Of what relevance!? Why do we keep remembering the holocaust? It's grim, it's nasty, why remember it?
So that we don't end up killing Jews in gas chambers, okay, I don't see gas chambers and I don't see masses of starving Jews - we're doing quite well then aren't we?
But let's take the principles - the main ideas. we could say those are: watch out for greedy and dictating leaders, killing innocent people is horrific, being self absorbed stops you seeing other people's needs.
Today, slowly but surely people are taking innocent lives, our leaders are greedy and becoming dictating, and people who are self absorbed are fighting for their and other people's 'right to die'.
Thousands of babies are aborted every day, innocent lives are being taken and would-be mothers are carrying the emotional and pysical scars of their babie's lost lives.
Taking a look at our leaders we can see greed with what should be unacceptable terms; the salary of a banker, solicitor or politician if you're willing to allow the killing of unborn babies, tell violent youths they're the victims of their society, discourage people who want to share the gospel, consideration of Sharia law for seperate legal judgement of muslims from other religious groups, make unreasonable gambles with other people's money, and other things.
There are people who are campaigning for sickness, illness and age to be a reason to kill someone. Someone innocent.
How long before we turn around and see a generation of people who think THEY have the right to decide whether someone is fit to live?
How long before our country's being run by people who don't know what the sanctity of life is?
How long before we're teaching our children we're no more fit to live than the monkey we evolved from?
Hang on a minute!?
I think it's time to stand back and take a look at the picture of our society. The grim and nasty picture of the 21st century that might be painted in years to come - perhaps the centruy people began to believe that giving pleasant opportunities to violent and dangerous criminals would solve their problems, the century when more would-be mums than ever before carried the burden and guilt of killing their unborn babies, the century we legalised the killing of innocent people (calling it 'mercy killing'), the centruy we thought promiscuity was so fun that STIs became rampant and dangerous, the century we thought that faithfulness was so boring more people than ever before became depressed, lonely and emotionally unstable; the century we became so greedy the economy nose dived; the centruy we became so self absorbed that the lady down the road got murdered by her ex-husband and nobody even knew she'd had a problem.
This isn't the 21st certury I would want to say I lived in, and I certainly wouldn't want to think I lived through it without being one of the people who said - "Hang on a minute!"
There has to be a reason. Without a reason no one can say an innocent life is valuable, no one can say a leader is wrong, no one can say a baby is a baby before birth, no one can say emotional pain is actually real pain, no one can say promiscuity is damaging.
Experience tells us it hurts to be rejected, it brings confusion and guilt to have your baby aborted, it's painful when a life is lost.
The loving and gracious God that gave us life has given us rules for life and reasons to live. Like a map when you're lost, like a torch when it's dark, like a door when you want to get through a wall, God has given us the Bible. In the Bible He tells us the way out of the mess of the 21st century.
He offers healing for the broken hearted and freedom for the oppressed.
Before we're the generation that people look back on and say, "why didn't they say, hang on a minute!?"
Come to God, take up His offer of freedom and healing, say "Hang on a minute?!"
But the God's not just talking about politicians and abortion clinics. Our brokenness is inside, it's in our hearts, and so is our bondage. It's like our character is chained to sin and things that make God angry; we can't do anything right and we can't please God no matter how much we try.
If you want to take up God's offer of freedom, you must turn your back on sin, say goodbye to the things that make Him angry and ask for His forgiveness. Love Him with all your heart, seek the truth and you will be free.
What makes you think that terminally ill people will be better off after they've been 'mercifully killed' anyway?
After watching the special features and interviews with cast memebers; I was struck by the question that seemed to be on everybody's lips, "Why did no one say, 'I won't stand for this' " or, at least a form of that question.
It's a good question, why did no one say no? Or, shouldn't the question be, why didn't enough people say no while they were still strong enough? Hitler began as a promising leader, everything from getting youths off the streets to writing cook books and encouraging women to get married, perhaps with a bit of a hang up on the jews. Slowly and surely he took power away from people he dislikled and gave it to anyone who was greedy enough to accept the terms. As the people with the power realised they couldn't keep the power without surpressing the people and obeying Hitler, they got mean, just like Hitler.
Eventually everyone that wanted to say no, didn't have enough man power to say it. It was too late, and too many people had become too self absorbed.
Basically, the next question would be... so what? Of what relevance!? Why do we keep remembering the holocaust? It's grim, it's nasty, why remember it?
So that we don't end up killing Jews in gas chambers, okay, I don't see gas chambers and I don't see masses of starving Jews - we're doing quite well then aren't we?
But let's take the principles - the main ideas. we could say those are: watch out for greedy and dictating leaders, killing innocent people is horrific, being self absorbed stops you seeing other people's needs.
Today, slowly but surely people are taking innocent lives, our leaders are greedy and becoming dictating, and people who are self absorbed are fighting for their and other people's 'right to die'.
Thousands of babies are aborted every day, innocent lives are being taken and would-be mothers are carrying the emotional and pysical scars of their babie's lost lives.
Taking a look at our leaders we can see greed with what should be unacceptable terms; the salary of a banker, solicitor or politician if you're willing to allow the killing of unborn babies, tell violent youths they're the victims of their society, discourage people who want to share the gospel, consideration of Sharia law for seperate legal judgement of muslims from other religious groups, make unreasonable gambles with other people's money, and other things.
There are people who are campaigning for sickness, illness and age to be a reason to kill someone. Someone innocent.
How long before we turn around and see a generation of people who think THEY have the right to decide whether someone is fit to live?
How long before our country's being run by people who don't know what the sanctity of life is?
How long before we're teaching our children we're no more fit to live than the monkey we evolved from?
Hang on a minute!?
I think it's time to stand back and take a look at the picture of our society. The grim and nasty picture of the 21st century that might be painted in years to come - perhaps the centruy people began to believe that giving pleasant opportunities to violent and dangerous criminals would solve their problems, the century when more would-be mums than ever before carried the burden and guilt of killing their unborn babies, the century we legalised the killing of innocent people (calling it 'mercy killing'), the centruy we thought promiscuity was so fun that STIs became rampant and dangerous, the century we thought that faithfulness was so boring more people than ever before became depressed, lonely and emotionally unstable; the century we became so greedy the economy nose dived; the centruy we became so self absorbed that the lady down the road got murdered by her ex-husband and nobody even knew she'd had a problem.
This isn't the 21st certury I would want to say I lived in, and I certainly wouldn't want to think I lived through it without being one of the people who said - "Hang on a minute!"
There has to be a reason. Without a reason no one can say an innocent life is valuable, no one can say a leader is wrong, no one can say a baby is a baby before birth, no one can say emotional pain is actually real pain, no one can say promiscuity is damaging.
Experience tells us it hurts to be rejected, it brings confusion and guilt to have your baby aborted, it's painful when a life is lost.
The loving and gracious God that gave us life has given us rules for life and reasons to live. Like a map when you're lost, like a torch when it's dark, like a door when you want to get through a wall, God has given us the Bible. In the Bible He tells us the way out of the mess of the 21st century.
He offers healing for the broken hearted and freedom for the oppressed.
Before we're the generation that people look back on and say, "why didn't they say, hang on a minute!?"
Come to God, take up His offer of freedom and healing, say "Hang on a minute?!"
But the God's not just talking about politicians and abortion clinics. Our brokenness is inside, it's in our hearts, and so is our bondage. It's like our character is chained to sin and things that make God angry; we can't do anything right and we can't please God no matter how much we try.
If you want to take up God's offer of freedom, you must turn your back on sin, say goodbye to the things that make Him angry and ask for His forgiveness. Love Him with all your heart, seek the truth and you will be free.
What makes you think that terminally ill people will be better off after they've been 'mercifully killed' anyway?
Friday, 9 January 2009
January
I missed the opportunity to Blog in December. I had managed to just scrape in at least once a month, even with a vague contribution of something that could barely have been classed as a blog, never the less I missed it.
So you didn't get to hear about my stand against comercialism (well, you were fortunate if you actually managed to escape, many people who don't read my blog still had to hear about it); you didn't get to hear about my wonderful visit to France, which involved staying with amazing friends, skiing, crashing into trees, missing last lifts, hikes along flat pistes, trying to help lead carols you don't know, a lovely carol concert from the Bourg corale, and SO much more that was wonderfully enjoyable; you didn't get to hear about my interesting Christmas dinner with my adopted mother and a lady of 102 years; but never mind... I'm sure you all had your own things to be getting on with over Christmas and the New year.
For me the new year began on Waterloo Bridge in London, you could say it began cold and cram packed - or you could say it began with a lot of enthusiasm and good friends, which is a way I wouldn't mind 2009 to continue. So far cold has been a regular reacurrance, with a few dustings of what the English like to call 'snow'. Friends are always a regular thing, although more often than I'd like it's through facebook, e-mail or text rather than seeing them face to face. But if I will have friends in America, France, Guildford, Manchester and London rather than in Birmingham... it's my own fault I suppose. Of course there're always my best friends who I see almost every day or at least once a week: Mum, Jo, Nic and Beth. Is it possible to have people that are such good friends that you forget they're your friends? They're always just there, some times even when you'd rather they weren't; but because they are always there the times you want them and the times you don't seem to roll together, and it's not until you stop and think about it that the way you felt about them falls into place and you realise why you felt annoyed or angry with them, or happy and laughed with them.
It's lovely to have people that are such good friends you can tell them all the things you like about other people and other places, and they'll do their best to bring that out in a situation. For example a frequent statement of mine is, "When I was in France we did..." So, recently me and Nic have been out walking, getting some exercise. Mum had bread and a salad with oil and vinegar with our dinner. There're other things I complain about that my good friends tell me to just get over it, that's helpful too.
Enthusiasm, I've had plenty of that so far in the new year too, possibly not all about useful things. A trip around the world, a piece of piano music I'll probably never be able to play, some one's note on facebook... Different things have been more constructive to be enthusiastic about ideas for missions trips that could actually happen, beach missions, applying for funding to start a toddler group, thinking about moving out (emphasis on the thinking, my bank account doesn't like the idea of me moving out, unless I get more work to do) and because of the idea of moving out I've also been slightly enthusiastic about finding work - but nothing has come up which is dampening for enthusiasm.
University has started again, all a bit sluggishly, a lecture here and there. A lecture I wasn't told about until I'd missed it, a lecture I knew about but the lecturer didn't turn up, and a lecture in a hall with 200 students and everyone scoweled at me when I smiled at them. Why did I think acedamia was a good thing to go back to? I was wondering, until I looked at all the jobs I would really like to apply for and they called for a well qualified person, someone with experience or knowledge of a certain framework or government legislation... all of which I'm aiming to aquire at university, most of what I want to achieve at university will be subject to getting a good placement next year. I shall put my pester power to the test and begin getting some names... soon, when I feel motivated. Enthusiasm is not flowing abundantly when I think of my lab reports and essays and my dire need to revise for exams in March.
Wednesday club is back, after an eventful ending to last year! We had a parents evening and we had as many parents attend as children, which was most encouraging. Things got a bit wild, some of the children got bouncy balls in their prizes, I was tied up with a talkative parent and well.. bouncy balls went flying to say the least! However, most of the parents left saying they had a great deal of respect for what we try and do with the children, I hope they come to have a great deal of respect for the saviour that we tried to show to them that evening. I eagerly anticipate a summer evening of fun for the family at the end of this school year, at least that wouldn't involve getting the children to try and perform! Until then we're back to the weekly fun of enjoying the children's over excited behaviour for an hour; I think they're all lovely children, and God's told them He loved them enough to send His son for them, I'm happy to let them be over excited and slightly mischevious - my main concern is for the rest of the leaders who seem to get ever so drained and discouraged when the children don't behave. We're not there to teach them to behave, we're there to teach them that their behaviour will have eternal consiquences from a righteous God.
A nagging concern for the state of our nation doesn't seem to leave me, even at the happiest of times. When I'm happy I think of all those people that think they're happy. When I'm sad I think of all those people who have no consolation in their sadness. We're not called to be people eaten up with concern, God has given Himself fully and we can enjoy the peace He gives us fully; but England is so obviously suffering. The difficulties we see in our economy, families, work places, schools stem from a lack of spiritual disciplines; and yet people still curse God, even though He holds the key to ultimate hapiness and prosperity. I feel I should be doing more to reach people, but God has His time for me to be where He needs me - I could reach out to 100 unelect people on a short term mission; while one elect person is sitting next to an empty chair at Newman University in Birmingham.
When I stop and listen God soothes my fears; His strong, steady voice speaks of a plan. He has called me to Himself and I must be faithful in what He gives me to do, not worrying about the whole world when He's already sent His son to be the saviour of the world.
So you didn't get to hear about my stand against comercialism (well, you were fortunate if you actually managed to escape, many people who don't read my blog still had to hear about it); you didn't get to hear about my wonderful visit to France, which involved staying with amazing friends, skiing, crashing into trees, missing last lifts, hikes along flat pistes, trying to help lead carols you don't know, a lovely carol concert from the Bourg corale, and SO much more that was wonderfully enjoyable; you didn't get to hear about my interesting Christmas dinner with my adopted mother and a lady of 102 years; but never mind... I'm sure you all had your own things to be getting on with over Christmas and the New year.
For me the new year began on Waterloo Bridge in London, you could say it began cold and cram packed - or you could say it began with a lot of enthusiasm and good friends, which is a way I wouldn't mind 2009 to continue. So far cold has been a regular reacurrance, with a few dustings of what the English like to call 'snow'. Friends are always a regular thing, although more often than I'd like it's through facebook, e-mail or text rather than seeing them face to face. But if I will have friends in America, France, Guildford, Manchester and London rather than in Birmingham... it's my own fault I suppose. Of course there're always my best friends who I see almost every day or at least once a week: Mum, Jo, Nic and Beth. Is it possible to have people that are such good friends that you forget they're your friends? They're always just there, some times even when you'd rather they weren't; but because they are always there the times you want them and the times you don't seem to roll together, and it's not until you stop and think about it that the way you felt about them falls into place and you realise why you felt annoyed or angry with them, or happy and laughed with them.
It's lovely to have people that are such good friends you can tell them all the things you like about other people and other places, and they'll do their best to bring that out in a situation. For example a frequent statement of mine is, "When I was in France we did..." So, recently me and Nic have been out walking, getting some exercise. Mum had bread and a salad with oil and vinegar with our dinner. There're other things I complain about that my good friends tell me to just get over it, that's helpful too.
Enthusiasm, I've had plenty of that so far in the new year too, possibly not all about useful things. A trip around the world, a piece of piano music I'll probably never be able to play, some one's note on facebook... Different things have been more constructive to be enthusiastic about ideas for missions trips that could actually happen, beach missions, applying for funding to start a toddler group, thinking about moving out (emphasis on the thinking, my bank account doesn't like the idea of me moving out, unless I get more work to do) and because of the idea of moving out I've also been slightly enthusiastic about finding work - but nothing has come up which is dampening for enthusiasm.
University has started again, all a bit sluggishly, a lecture here and there. A lecture I wasn't told about until I'd missed it, a lecture I knew about but the lecturer didn't turn up, and a lecture in a hall with 200 students and everyone scoweled at me when I smiled at them. Why did I think acedamia was a good thing to go back to? I was wondering, until I looked at all the jobs I would really like to apply for and they called for a well qualified person, someone with experience or knowledge of a certain framework or government legislation... all of which I'm aiming to aquire at university, most of what I want to achieve at university will be subject to getting a good placement next year. I shall put my pester power to the test and begin getting some names... soon, when I feel motivated. Enthusiasm is not flowing abundantly when I think of my lab reports and essays and my dire need to revise for exams in March.
Wednesday club is back, after an eventful ending to last year! We had a parents evening and we had as many parents attend as children, which was most encouraging. Things got a bit wild, some of the children got bouncy balls in their prizes, I was tied up with a talkative parent and well.. bouncy balls went flying to say the least! However, most of the parents left saying they had a great deal of respect for what we try and do with the children, I hope they come to have a great deal of respect for the saviour that we tried to show to them that evening. I eagerly anticipate a summer evening of fun for the family at the end of this school year, at least that wouldn't involve getting the children to try and perform! Until then we're back to the weekly fun of enjoying the children's over excited behaviour for an hour; I think they're all lovely children, and God's told them He loved them enough to send His son for them, I'm happy to let them be over excited and slightly mischevious - my main concern is for the rest of the leaders who seem to get ever so drained and discouraged when the children don't behave. We're not there to teach them to behave, we're there to teach them that their behaviour will have eternal consiquences from a righteous God.
A nagging concern for the state of our nation doesn't seem to leave me, even at the happiest of times. When I'm happy I think of all those people that think they're happy. When I'm sad I think of all those people who have no consolation in their sadness. We're not called to be people eaten up with concern, God has given Himself fully and we can enjoy the peace He gives us fully; but England is so obviously suffering. The difficulties we see in our economy, families, work places, schools stem from a lack of spiritual disciplines; and yet people still curse God, even though He holds the key to ultimate hapiness and prosperity. I feel I should be doing more to reach people, but God has His time for me to be where He needs me - I could reach out to 100 unelect people on a short term mission; while one elect person is sitting next to an empty chair at Newman University in Birmingham.
When I stop and listen God soothes my fears; His strong, steady voice speaks of a plan. He has called me to Himself and I must be faithful in what He gives me to do, not worrying about the whole world when He's already sent His son to be the saviour of the world.
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Ideas about children and university
I have to rant about one thing that I've been hearing over and over again at university - the Puritanical aspect of childhood is not connected with Freud's idea of 'id'! Also, whilst believing that children are inherently sinful, the Puritans did not believe that sinfulness could be dealt with through corporal punishment or that children were animal like or impishly evil.
Freud (1856-1939), a well known psychologist, came up with the idea of the 'id'. This id - he claimed - represented the natural instincts of children and almost rebelled against any morals the children would grow up to learn, he connected this id to strong sexual desires which he believed children were born with and later learned to control through adult guidance.
When many people look at Freud's idea of a rebellious 'id', they connect it with the puritanical idea of a rebellious nature - this connection simply shouldn't be made!
The Puritans believed that children were born sinful. They felt that children needed to be taught right and wrong - and at the time of the Puritans corporal punishment was not questioned, and child labour was popular, the Puritans can't be singled out for sending their children to sweep chimneys or beating them with sticks as punishments for bad behaviour; it was a mark of their time, not their beliefs. They can be singled out as people who respected life and cared for it, and they appreciated children as a blessing from God, rather than seeing children as evil imps that were cast like burdens on their parents.
The Puritans idea of sinfulness has no resemblance to an inappropriate, subconscious wrong that Freud calls 'id'.
Freud said that as children grow up they try so hard to forget about their embarrassing naughtiness that they had as a child, and when they're adults they think they've always been good and moral, because their mind has hidden their badness from them.
The Puritans believed that when children grow up they could either ignore God and live in their sinfulness, or they could ask God for forgiveness and God would graciously choose to forget their wrong doings - as adults they could constantly remember God's goodness to them in forgiving them.
Perhaps some of the things the Puritans said and wrote seems very harsh to us now, living in a politically correct, sit-on-the-fence society. No generation or human idea will come without faults. But the Biblical principles of the Puritans shouldn't be twisted into a devilish, nasty view of children.
The disturbed ideas of Freud (that make most adults squirm in their seats!) about children shouldn't be put together with the Puritans. Freud could see no way out of the repulsive nature he believed children had, his ideas subject people to a life of hiding and being afraid of your 'inner nature'. The Puritans had hope for their sinful children, they taught them about the just and righteous God who knew how to punish sin - and who had chosen to forgive sinners; their ideas lead us to a life where we can search for hope... and if we seek it, we will surely find it.
The reading and writing I've been doing for university has made me think of lots of things I could write, but it would become far too boring and academic - I'll have to save it for a long boring book with mile long sentences and get it published, the people can cite me in their work to back up their ideas, just like I've cited someone else in my work to back up my ideas, and they cited someone else in their book to back up their ideas... and because we've all published the same ideas, it makes them valid ideas, of course!
Did you know Rousseau was a play-write!? He couldn't get anyone to produce his plays, so he decided to write about child education instead... and now his book is considered as a major contribution to modern thinking on childhood education. Incidentally, his own children were taken into care, he was an appalling father. Yet we look up to him, respect him, quote his work and base a large part of our country's laws and educational frameworks on the ideas he wrote about - and not just him, we do the same thing with Wordsworth, a poet, head in the clouds, had an opinion on childhood, got it published, we quote that too.
All praise and glory to the Ultimate Author, who's writing surpasses time and ideas.
"Let them give glory to the LORD, and proclaim His praise in the islands"
(The Bible, Isaiah 42 v12)
Freud (1856-1939), a well known psychologist, came up with the idea of the 'id'. This id - he claimed - represented the natural instincts of children and almost rebelled against any morals the children would grow up to learn, he connected this id to strong sexual desires which he believed children were born with and later learned to control through adult guidance.
When many people look at Freud's idea of a rebellious 'id', they connect it with the puritanical idea of a rebellious nature - this connection simply shouldn't be made!
The Puritans believed that children were born sinful. They felt that children needed to be taught right and wrong - and at the time of the Puritans corporal punishment was not questioned, and child labour was popular, the Puritans can't be singled out for sending their children to sweep chimneys or beating them with sticks as punishments for bad behaviour; it was a mark of their time, not their beliefs. They can be singled out as people who respected life and cared for it, and they appreciated children as a blessing from God, rather than seeing children as evil imps that were cast like burdens on their parents.
The Puritans idea of sinfulness has no resemblance to an inappropriate, subconscious wrong that Freud calls 'id'.
Freud said that as children grow up they try so hard to forget about their embarrassing naughtiness that they had as a child, and when they're adults they think they've always been good and moral, because their mind has hidden their badness from them.
The Puritans believed that when children grow up they could either ignore God and live in their sinfulness, or they could ask God for forgiveness and God would graciously choose to forget their wrong doings - as adults they could constantly remember God's goodness to them in forgiving them.
Perhaps some of the things the Puritans said and wrote seems very harsh to us now, living in a politically correct, sit-on-the-fence society. No generation or human idea will come without faults. But the Biblical principles of the Puritans shouldn't be twisted into a devilish, nasty view of children.
The disturbed ideas of Freud (that make most adults squirm in their seats!) about children shouldn't be put together with the Puritans. Freud could see no way out of the repulsive nature he believed children had, his ideas subject people to a life of hiding and being afraid of your 'inner nature'. The Puritans had hope for their sinful children, they taught them about the just and righteous God who knew how to punish sin - and who had chosen to forgive sinners; their ideas lead us to a life where we can search for hope... and if we seek it, we will surely find it.
The reading and writing I've been doing for university has made me think of lots of things I could write, but it would become far too boring and academic - I'll have to save it for a long boring book with mile long sentences and get it published, the people can cite me in their work to back up their ideas, just like I've cited someone else in my work to back up my ideas, and they cited someone else in their book to back up their ideas... and because we've all published the same ideas, it makes them valid ideas, of course!
Did you know Rousseau was a play-write!? He couldn't get anyone to produce his plays, so he decided to write about child education instead... and now his book is considered as a major contribution to modern thinking on childhood education. Incidentally, his own children were taken into care, he was an appalling father. Yet we look up to him, respect him, quote his work and base a large part of our country's laws and educational frameworks on the ideas he wrote about - and not just him, we do the same thing with Wordsworth, a poet, head in the clouds, had an opinion on childhood, got it published, we quote that too.
All praise and glory to the Ultimate Author, who's writing surpasses time and ideas.
"Let them give glory to the LORD, and proclaim His praise in the islands"
(The Bible, Isaiah 42 v12)
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